Midnight's Memory
by PeppermintWings
Summary: N and White. Pokemon Black and White. Aftermath. Blaise is still trying to cope with N leaving. N can't forget about Blaise no matter what. He's been watching her but she's gone to far, where the extent involves suicide. How will they express their love?
1. Chapter 1

**PART ONE**

It's only midnight. The night is young. At least, to me it is.

I breathe evenly, softly…quietly.

I don't speak. Or think. I just breathe. I wonder why I'm still alive. I've been holding up a broken, bruised heart. I've spent the last two years trying to heal it, to fix it. But it keeps tumbling down, breaking. I don't know why I try anymore. Why do I? There's no point to.

I see darkness behind closed eyes and it wraps around me, making me shiver. The window is open; I can feel the coolness of the night.

I feel a delicious breath blow on my neck and my spine shivers.

Suddenly, I feel the warmth of fingertips dancing on my waist, playing with the elastic band of my soft shorts I'm sleeping in.

Words are suddenly floating in my ears, repeating my favorite lyrics from favorite songs.

_I'll be there for you through it all  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<em>

I continue to listen to the whispers.

_It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.  
>Seasons are changing<br>And waves are crashing  
>And stars are falling all for us<br>Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
>I can show you I'll be the one<em>

The voice, the whispers, sound like N.

_N? _

"N?" I murmur.

My eyes flash open and I turn around.

I'm expecting to see N, to see his blue-green eyes, his green hair, his handsome face and body, his large hands that my face fits perfectly in and where my dainty fingers fit snugly within his.

In the darkness, I see nothing.

_Nothing. _

Just the blue curtains moving in the light wind.

I let a soft strangled cry run over my lips as I rub my hand over my heart.

My heart that I bandaged earlier this morning, falls apart. The white bands unravel and the pieces of my heart break more into tinier, blood-red shards. I press my knuckles to my lips, hard. I don't want to scream. Not when everyone's asleep.

My poor heart is trying to rip free from my chest. My hand flies to my chest, pressing it as if it could stop this lasting hurt. The voices, his touch, that delicious breath on my neck…all in my head. N's not here.

I get up from my bed and avoid treading on Serperior. He's asleep, coiled comfortably. He's the only one that's watching over me right now.

I close the bedroom door and go straight to the kitchen. I want…need…something that will make the burning sensation in my chest go away.

I don't bother looking at the table in the middle of the dining room. There're presents, I already know. I can basically see those pretty cards, tied with ribbons, asking the ridiculous question: _Nineteen already? Damn! _

I don't count how old I am anymore. I count how long he's been gone. Two years and few days.

He left me with a rip in my heart.

I go through the pantry until I come across a dark bottle with a cork. I stare at it.

I stole it from my Mother's house. I can't stop. I grab it.

It fits snugly in my palm. With my teeth, I rip out the cork. The wine smells sweet. I breathe it in.

My brown bangs hangs over my eyes and I swipe them away to see the wine bottle. I don't bother to grab a glass. Instead, I go to the bathroom and open the cabinet. There are various pills. I'm half asleep and I grab what seem to be allergy pills.

I press the pills to the bottle and grip them in one hand. With the other, I go to the living room closet and pull out my white robe. My brown hair tumbles over my waist and I sway as I open the front door.

I pray to Arceus that Serperior doesn't hear the front door open. I giggle drunkenly, though I'm not drunk yet, as I walk past my house and past the PokéCenter. The night it silent and fog drift around me. I moved out of Mom's house and bought a house here, in _ Town. Here, no one monitors me. I sneak around towards the secret path east of the PokéCenter, the little strip of sand where I usually find pearls.

I lean against the earth, the brown rock, and dig my toes into the white sand. How refreshing it feels, but I'm not here to calm myself or praise the ocean's beauty. I'm not here to be renewed.

I'm here to _forget_.

Can I drink away N? I pray to Arceus that I can.

I approach the clear, blue water. The sea foam laps at my toes and I dig my toes farther into the sand.

Far from where I am, the coast, I see a figure bobbing in the water. It looks like a green flame atop the blue water. Soon the flame is engulfed by the fog. I gasp.

"N?" I whisper across the water.

"Blaise…" the water breathes.

"N!" I shout across the waves. The flame acknowledges me and beckons me toward it. I see blue green eyes.

"Don't…" the water breathes. Is it N? I can't stand still.

The water is now lapping at the hem of my robe and I swim farther out to where the green flame is.

"N!" I shout again. I hold up my arms. I don't the salt water in my wine, or to take away the pills. I swim farther out and the water is now lapping at my chin. I can see the green flame brighter now.

My heart crashes.

It' _not_ a green flame.

It's _sea weed. _

My breath is snatched away.

_No. No! NO!_

_How?_

Suddenly, there's a wave. The water pushes me back and slides over the crown of my head. Arms above me, the water licks at the pills and the bottom of the bottle. I'm swimming back to shore when another wave comes and threatens to pull me away from the pearl studded sand.

The salt water is licking at my salt tears. I'm broken. My chest is heaving and the salt water on my bangs leaks down to my face and into my eyes, burning them. The salt is in my nostrils and all I smell is salt. It pours into my mouth and it burns my throat. I dig my heels into the sand so that I can get a better grip to get to shore.

All alone in the sea and soon, all alone on the sand. I've managed to save the wine and the pills.

I throw my body on the hard, packed sand. I'm screaming into the sand. My eyes are squeezed shut and my screams are absorbed into the crashing melody of the waves. Good. I don't anyone to hear me.

I want to forget him, to erase him from my memories.

_Drink the wine. It helps forget. _

My hand shakes as I press the bottle to my lips. I drink it down, every last drop. I don't care if I'm doing it illegally. The sweet wine is only a tad salty. My chest keeps heaving painfully and the alcohol only nubs it a little bit. I'm crying so hard and my tears are creating tiny pools in the sand. I'm murmuring against the wine and the wine spills a bit on my sea-stained robe. My bangs are plastered against my cheeks and forehead in strange angles and my hair in knotted and plastered against my back. On my knees, I don't stop drinking until it's all gone. It's burning my throat, but it's not enough…until I feel needles piercing my mind. The needles pierce my skin as well. N…

_Whose N? _I giggle.

Green hair, handsome, romantic…

No, I haven't forgotten him yet. I frown. I must forget. The pain in my chest is unbearable. I must forget.

_I must forget_

_Must forget_

_Forget_

_Forget_

_For…get..._

_For…_

I smile, he's almost gone.

I have drunken the bottle dry. I toss it aside into the wave and now that there's no more wine, memories are coming.

I reach for the pills and pierce the metal foil that keeps the pills hidden in their little plastic cave. There are twenty in total. My movements are sluggish.

I pop them in my mouth, one by one. Two fall in the sand, but I don't care. I pick them up and toss them in my mouth. Perhaps it'll kill me faster, make me forget faster. My press my lips shut, I don't like the pill's bitterness.

"More," I groan.

Tears are falling faster and faster.

Do I want to die?

_Yes. _

I can't stand being without N.

I'm screaming now and pounding my fist against the earth, the sand, the sea form that licks at my toes. My movements are heavy and my eye lids droop.

"Why'd you go?" I scream into my knuckles. I bit the inside of my cheeks and taste blood.

So many dreams have been burnt. So many of my thoughts have been plagued.

There are only five more pills left. I bit down on my tongue and taste copper. My hand wobbles as I reach up towards my face. I cover my mouth and pinch my nose.

This will kill me faster.

I won't breathe anymore.

I feel my body shutting down.

Suddenly something lashes at my hands, the one covering my face and the other that's holding the pills.

I turn around quickly and I sway. Too fast. The world is turning. The sea is above me and the rocks are upside down.

There's a green blur. Serperior. He's angry and freaking out. I know it would be best if I wasn't his trainer. He deserves someone more.

The pills fly out of my hand and lands in the water. The five pills that got away. The sea swallows them away.

There are two others. There's Nurse Joy, screaming at the wretched sight of me: sea-soaked, tear-stained, drunk off of wine with evidence of taking fifteen pills. Serperior is roaring at me, crying. I let a small smile roll off me.

I'm falling backwards and my eyes roll backwards. Falling, I'm still crying. The tears leaving watery trails. I let out a loose breath and as I fall back, Serperior is quickly trying to catch me, coiling around me. Before I completely go, the night sky turns white as a face appears before me.

"_Why?" _he breathes.

"I couldn't stand to be without you," I sigh incoherently.

The white sky returns to black and N's face fades.

I choke out the last tears I can manage.

I'm drowning in so much pain and my fist clench and unclench.

I realize than I could _never _forget N no matter how hard I tried.

Then my body goes limp.

* * *

><p>AN: I just wanted to write something sad, but seems like it didn't work. Try reading again and listening to "Guardian Angel" Maybe that pull a few tears. Read and Review, will be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

I sucked in a breath before I screamed. Immediately, someone rushed over to me to call me down. They patted my foreheads, brushed away my bangs from my eyes and shushed me tenderly. My eyelids flew open but I had to squeeze them shut as soon as I did. It was bright.

I arched my back and screamed again, flailing against the soft cloth that enveloped me. I clawed at the air and scream. I felt my hand hit flesh and suddenly, I was pinned by four hands. I cried loudly.

Two hands moved away from my arm and lightly rubbed my temple.

"It was just a nightmare, Blaise. Just a nightmare," a soft voice cooed. My eyes flew open again, this time not affected by the lights. The lights were dimmed.

It took several moments for my eyes to adjust. Golden skin was framed by luscious brown curls that fell to the girl's waist. Her bright, lime-green eyes were framed by soft, long, black eyelashes that kissed her cheeks softly every time she blinked. She looked owl-like, her eyes huge and red from crying. She sung softly to get me to settle down.

"_This is my winter song to you  
><em>_A storm is coming soon.  
><em>_It rolls in from the sea."_

_The sea? _I thought. No. No! I began to thrash again against the covers. I was supposed to die! I didn't want to live! My heart, it was _shattered! _I released a screeched wail.

"_My voice, a beacon in the night  
><em>_My words will be your light  
><em>_To carry you to me."_

"Ivy, stop!" I cried out.

"I stopped. I stopped. It's ok," she said softly.

"She had to be medicated, we can't tolerate this behavior," someone else said sternly. I saw pink hair in a complicated style. Nurse Joy. Ivy sucked in a breath.

"Leave her alone! She's fine and in shock! She doesn't need any more of _that gas_! This is the fifth time we've had to medicate her! Give her a break!" Ivy shouted.

_Fifth time? _I've awakened _five times_ just to be put down under the gas? I don't _remember_ any of the other times.

Nurse Joy flinched in fear from Ivy's shouting and left me alone with Ivy. My heart lurched.

"Ivy," I moaned. She reached for my hand.

"Blaise! Oh, Arceus! Thank goodness you're alive!" she cried.

"It hurts...so badly," I gasped.

"What? You're leg? Poor Serperior had to haul you all the way over here from the beach shore because you passed out. You could've died!"

"My heart hurts! You should have left me to die!" I wailed.

"No, honey! Sweetie, you're just going through a tough time. N's been gone for two years and you really miss him, I know," she urged, pleading with me that my life was something to be saved, valued.

"He was there. I felt him hold me," I argued.

"Blaise, Serperior and Nurse Joy found you. N wasn't there," Ivy reasoned. Her fingertips went up to her clutter of stones, clutching the blue stone. She was worried. I shook my head.

"_Hewasthere_," I mumbled, my words mixing together.

"You imagined it. I'm so sorry," Ivy choked.

* * *

><p>Ivy sat in the red chair beside my little hospital cot. She filled me in on recent events since I'd isolated myself from fun activates for the last few months.<p>

"Cheren and Bianca are still happily together. Me and Blake are still happily together. Your cousin came back from the Sinnoh region to visit us for a few days before she had to go back. She was really disappointed that she couldn't see you while she was here and no one knew where you were or where you lived, but I guess now we do. Undella Town is not a bad place to live, with all like the pearl-studded beach and the artifacts consumed by rich history and it's not too far from White Forest and Black City," Ivy rambled. I turned to her slowly. Being conscience for more than a few hours, I was slowly remembering what happened to me, additional to my constant, violent thrashes when I awoken before the final time. Apparently, I had injured Ivy several times. Her arms were laced with faint scratches that gratefully didn't pierce skin.

Not to mention I had accidently kicked Nurse Joy in the guts. I made sure to apologize, but no wonder she wanted to put me under the gas over and over again. I was a murderer in my sleep.

"How did you find me?" I asked Ivy suddenly. She appeared stunned as if I should already know the answer. She looked away and clutched her clutter of stones around her neck. I prop my chin upon my knees.

"You had a vision again, didn't you?" I asked quietly. She sighs and turns to me, giving me a half, not amused smile.

"Yeah."

"Was N…" I began.

"In it?" she finished. I nodded. Her eyebrows merged together in frustration. She tensed up.

"I can't remember…" she said silently.

"You're lying," I accused. She scrunched her nose.

"Blaise…"

"Is he coming back? Did you see him come back?" I asked eagerly. My head shot up from my knees. I can almost manage a smile, a hopeful grin.

"I can't remember," she repeats.

"You can't remember," I echo bitterly. "Which means you're not telling me something or—"

"Or he's not coming back," Ivy finished softly. I pushed the heel of my hands to my eyes.

"He promised. He promised. He promised," I murmured over and over again to myself. I wept softly.

Ivy draped her arms over my shoulders.

"I know he promised to come back. He will. I know he will. He—"

"_Doesn't love me_!" I wailed. "He promised me he'd return but he hasn't approached me for two years. _Two years_, Ivy! He whispered to me that he'd return because _he loved me_! And _I love him_! But the only reason he hasn't come back was because he truly _doesn't_ love me. Or maybe he found someone else! He wants to put distance between us, doesn't want to see me _ever again. _And I can understand why! _I'm a putrid, disgusting, horrid, sinful, ugly, unintelligent human being!_" I screamed. Ivy pushed herself away from me as if I was horrible poison and covered her ears. She shut her eyes tightly and her mouth twisted into agony before she began to shout.

"Stop it! Shut up! Don't say such things! You are a _beautiful, gorgeous, intelligent, kindhearted being_ who has been placed before such obstacles to retrieve your higher self, the self that was hidden away from two years ago when N left! _You once shone brightly_, Blaise! But your burning flame was doused when N and the _Black Beast_ destroyed the wall of the castle to achieve freedom! N must fulfill his destiny as well! He is only sacrificing time! But you, you Blaise are _sacrificing your life_ when it is not meant to be! You have been brought before a beautiful mural of life but can only see one color because your thoughts and vision have been plagued and clouded. It is time for you to cleanse yourself so you can behold the indescribable colors and teaching of life before your time limit has ceased! Ivy screamed.

I was taken aback.

Ivy had entered _Oracle_ mode.

My tears ceased as we listened to Ivy's words. They jostled in my head and I turned away. Ivy could only speak with truth when her soul had awakened the _Oracle_ within her. I turned away from Ivy and her words, but had to turn to her again because she was nearing desperation with me.

Slowly she fell to her knees and collapsed on the floor before my cot. A little bell sound shook the air around me as the pocket of her jeans glowed white. Out came her little Munna. She had recently captured it and was ecstatic to take care of it, since Bianca gave her the egg. Bianca had accidently bred her Musharna with a male and Bianca couldn't find anyone to give to egg to, so Ivy offered, and since then, couldn't part with her Munna.

"Moon! Ah!" it cried as it took vision of its collapsed trainer.

"She's tired. She accidently awakened her _Oracle_ form. She'll recover after a few minutes of rest," I said softly. Ivy looked so peaceful, baby-like as she breathed evenly, peaceful. I prop my chin upon my knees again.

I could never feel as serene as Ivy, or as peaceful. I'd trade my life with Ivy's if I could. Her biggest problem was trying to handle her _Oracle_ form. It wasn't as bad as it used to be. Since the night of N's departure, Ivy had no problem handling the _Oracle_ within her, until now, when her soul had awakened by arguing with me. But the first time I'd seen her in her Oracle form terrified me. It wasn't a partial transformation. It was a full-blow transformation. The one where her skin shimmered in the light as her clothing was replaced with a Goddess-like garb. Her eyes turned a milky green and electricity sparked off her fingertips as flames wrapped around her hands as if they were simple bracelets. She was a warrior-like Goddess, one to be feared. She had reached that transformation right in the amusement park of Nimbasa City, when N had accidently brushed past her.

"_N_," I wailed softy.

I watched as Munna buried herself in Ivy's curls. Munna hummed softly as it began to shoot off pink sparks.

"Oh, no. You are not eating Ivy's dream!" I chastised. Munna stopped and stuck her tongue out at me.

"_I wasn't going to eat them, silly Trainer. I was going to view them," _Munna said in her child-like voice. I folded my arms. I can only here Pokémon when they want to be heard or when _I _want to hear them.

"No eating?" I asked.

"_No eating_," she confirmed happily as she began to shoot pink sparks again. The sparks joined one another to create a poofy, pink cloud, the size of a computer screen. All I could see within the cloud was a haze of white mist. Suddenly, the cloud flashed black and Munna backed away in fear. My eyes widened in fear.

It was a vision. Ivy was seeing a vision! I looked at Ivy's usually serene face. It wasn't serene this time as her eyes raced behind her eyelids and her mouth was half formed into a silent, agonizing scream. But her scream was silent. I tumbled over my cot as I tried to stand, accidently ripping the IV cord from my wrist. My body was weak and I tumbled forward onto my knees. Slowly, I crawled over to Ivy to shake her awake but her skin and clothing burned me.

"Ow!" I screeched as I yanked my hand back. I screamed for Nurse Joy, but she did not come. I stared above me, where the black cloud hovered, shooting off yellow sparks.

"_Lightning," _I said softly. Something else began to emerge within the vision.

"_Blue eyes," _Ivy added.

"N_," _I mused softly, beginning to cry again. Ivy, as if she could hear me, shook her head, her eyes still tightly closed.

"_The black beast."_

A pair of black wings began to take form as they batted against the sky harshly through rain and thunder and lightning. I tried to look for the outline of N against Zekrom's back.

"Where's N?" I asked Ivy, forgetting that she could not hear me. "Where is N?"

"_The Rider is on the black beast, ready for battle_," Ivy whispered darkly. Her Oracle was speaking to me now, not Ivy. I must consult the Oracle, not Ivy, I reminded myself. I wept silently as I continued to watch Zekrom. Slowly, N's outline appeared as I cried out in heart break.

But N looked tortured upon Zekrom's back. The rain batted against his skin roughly and he was enveloped within a suit of golden armor, the color of lightning. In his hand, he wielded a sword, crying out in pain. He flew over the sea, over its consuming waves.

"Oracle," I began. "What is N searching for?"

"_The Rider is searching for its companion_," Ivy narrated. Ivy's voice grew grim and it matured beyond her years.

Seconds past eerily and finally, Zekrom and N breached the shore of the ocean. The winds whipped at the sand angrily. Zekrom dropped onto the sand and N jumped off Zekrom's back. N stopped midstride and screamed vacantly in pain.

"_Poor Rider,"_ Ivy said silently.

Suddenly, N broke out in a run and collapsed before something upon the sand. He wailed and shouted in deep pain. His arms reached out to gently caress something. The vision zoomed out and I saw a girl with long, brown hair and blue eyes staring with emptiness towards the soul-snatching, black clouds. She wore a reddish-bronze armor that encased her body. Her hands clenched two things, her red sword which was slowly fading to gray and her left hand which clenched a dagger made of onyx that was pierced into the girl's heart, through the armor. It appeared that she had tried to take it out, but failed. The blood that pooled around her was fresh and N dragged the girl to his lap, tracing her features of her eyes, lips, nose, and the dimpled that pressed into her right cheek whenever she smiled and the little scar right underneath her left eyebrow. He kissed each of her features and wailed and moaned, his screams overpowered by the sounds of thunder. The girl was dead. She was dead before N came to rescue her.

"_You were too late. We tried," _a voice echoed softly to N. White wings lifted upward and roared into the black clouds, letting fire break the rain.

_Reshiram, _I thought softly, sadly.

"_The white beast and his Rider_," Ivy narrates, her dark words empty.

"No!" I screamed. I was Reshiram Trainer. I was his Rider. I was—

"I'm going to die," I moan through my hands that rose to cover up my wailing mouth. I wanted to die before. I wanted to die yesterday. But today, I didn't. Because now, I've just see how I was going to die. I continued to watch, shaking my head.

"_Blaise. Oh, Blaise_," N wails into my hair in the vision. I longed for his touch.

"_You're too late, son. She has gone and can no longer stop our progress_," a voice darkly cackles happily.

"_We can finally build our perfect world,_" the voice adds. N looks up and I gasp as the vision zooms out again to view the dark voice within the vision.

"_G_hetsis!" I cry out.

"_The Dark Seer_," Ivy corrects me. To me, he is Ghetsis. To Ivy, the _Orcale of Light_, he was the_ Dark Seer_.

"_Father, why! We have left you alone! Why must you disrupt the peace?_!" N shouts angrily.

"_Innocent boy, the girl was merely an obstacle! She was disrupting the peace, not I_!"

"_No, Father! She was one the _Warriors of Old_, like me! She was the Keeper of Peace alongside me! It is you, Father! You have corrupted the peace of Unova and you will pay the price painfully. YOU KILLED BLAISE!" N _screamed loudly. He stood upabruptly, lifting me off him first. He charged toward his father but was blown back by a gray mist.

"Weak, innocent boy," a female voice laughed evilly. "You could have saved her if you weren't so blinded by your ideals and by the beauty of women." I could only see her silhouette.

"Leave us be!" N yells to the woman.

"You were so easily fooled. You betrayed your love to your Blaise. You went into my arms so quickly. All this time, Blaise loved you, but you betrayed her love once when was in another man's arms. Cheren was only a best friend, he was helping Blaise, but you, oh, you were so blinded by rage. Join us, N. We can rule together. All you really need is my love. Blaise's love was weak. That was why she had died. So weak, weak, weak. True, she was strong to handle the first few blows. Her love was weak because you left her for me, N," the woman coaxes lovingly to N.

"Her death…my fault…my fault," N cries.

"You loved me more than Blaise. Our love was stronger than the love you shared with the other Rider. We can be so strong, N. You are mine," the woman purrs. Something inside snapped in N as a strip of lightning flashed down upon Zekrom. Zekrom roared.

"_The female…she lies_!" Zekrom roared to N. He hurls lightning to N and a golden light encases N's body. N's eyes glazes over as he relives memories. His eyes are tiny projecting screens as they show up before Ghetsis and the woman. Memories flash quickly before him and several times I watch his eyes as they display our first meeting, that almost kiss in Undella Town, and the first real kiss. I watch as he relives the moment where he tells me his secrets on the little Ferris Wheel ride. Through his eyes, I watch his departure and how he looked several times over his shoulders to see me crying at the exit where he left me all alone. N breaks through the encased light and the memories falter. He smiles a little bit as he remembers everything, but the smile falters as he realizes that I was dead.

"I am Blaise's! Not yours!" he roars.

Suddenly, Reshiram and Zekrom roared, their powers merging to destroy the woman.

"_The Prophetess_," Ivy noted unconsciously. I glace at Ivy onto to turn back to the vision cloud, wailing in horror.

N is running to Ghetsis, sword above his head as he runs with fury. Ghetsis smiles darkly as he unsheathes his weapon, an onyx sword, tinged with red blood and gray rust.

Their swords clash and a sound of thunder roars across the sea.

And then the vision clouds disperse.

"NO!" I scream.

My scream awakens Ivy sharply as she exits out of Oracle form.

"What happened?" she asks, worried.

I put my face in my hands.

"Munna, she displayed your dream, your vision!" I cried out.

"What?" she yells.

"What happens, Ivy? How does it end?" I ask, crying.

She looked at me. She begins to cry as well.

"_I can't remember_," she whispers sadly.

We cling to each other and weep, fearing our dark future.


End file.
